December 5, 2008

Now There's A Reason To Go To Washington

Because Congress can't control its appetite for spending, they have embarked on creating a Congressional Visitors Center because Harry Reed is tired of smelling tourists that bake in the summer sun. What does this have to do with Constitutionally running our nation? Absolutely nothing -- but hey, if Congress concerned themselves with that, we might think there was an IQ total of at least 100 under the capitol dome. Have no fear folks, your tax dollars are hard at work, paving the way for more congressional crap.

The Visitors Center is now costing 621 million. Now, this money has been well spent to maintain the important parts of our history -- as liberals see it. There is no mention of God in this center and, in the center, it states that our national motto is "E Pluribus Unum." What?!! Our national motto is "In God We Trust". Who made this thing?! Have they studied history at all? And, of course they have. They just don't like it, so they want to revise it to fit their needs.

Now, with the advancement in technology, I'm going to give you a tour of the visitor's center. Yes my friends, we can get a sneak peak right now:

As you walk up to the main entrance, there is a sign indicating which lines people are supposed to stand in. In true liberal fashion, Conservatives must stand at the end and Christians are informed to go home. After you pay the admittance tax, you walk into the grand entry hall. To right is a concession stand, manned by Ted Kennedy arguing with a sign that reads, "No Alcoholic beverages." The sign seems to be winning. Straight ahead is the hall of shame. In this hall, the visitors walk through and are shown images of America and they are encouraged to hang their heads. For those who do not comply, they are ushered into a detention room where they must listen to Robert Byrd and Joe Lieberman give riveting monologues. To the right in the grand entry hall is a gift shop selling over-priced crap the memorialize one's visit. Nancy Pelosi is really proud of the product selection. There are Hillary Clinton dolls, complete with interchangeable pantsuits. There are commemorative John Kerry purple hearts and botox needle key chains. Barny Frank's book, "Lisps for Dummies." Al Franken's "Host Your Own Radio Show At Home" kit, with the same low ratings the real show gets. Let's not forget John McCain's body pillows that seem to hug you and while you squeeze back it hunkers down and says, "My Friends!" Ted Kennedy sent back to the coffee mugs and replaced them with shot glasses, complete with his shinning, smiling face. How could you not want to buy something in here?!

After you leave the Hall of Shame, you enter the George Vornovich room. This room is nothing more than a small drops of water hitting you on the head to simulate George's crying. After this room, you enter the "Obama/Biden Theatre" where you watch clips from the campaign. It isn't supplied, so bring your own note pad to count all of the lies. The only highlight in this is the Penny Cartoon in the middle.

Upon exiting the theatre, you are ushered into a lecture hall for indoctrination, followed by a rousing verse of the Soviet national anthem. Now, you can leave. The doors marked exit only take you back to the Grand Entry Hall. You must find the door that says Freedom to escape this madness. It is a small door, but a proud door. It doesn't boast of great things, but the people that walk through it boast of Freedom.

Just wait until they start building the visitors center to the Clinton Estate -- I'd knock before you went in...

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